Landscape and Horticulture Association - Landscape Juice Network

Open association for the landscape and garden for industry

Conundrum..... my neice has emailed to say she is coming to see us during her Christmas break.... she turns 18 in December.....I am really looking forward to seeing her, she is a beautiful, talented young lady who is very popular with her classmates and teachers and will graduate from the same high school I attended next year... she has a lovely, engaging personality, and the natural grace of someone who is beautiful inside and out....

Unfortunately.... she wants a tattoo, and I am afraid of my mom / her grandmother (who to this day has still never seen my tattoo.... or Fereday's for that matter, Lego badge on the upper arm, so I guess you could say Lego do make a gardener).... So, I'm thinking, do I pre-empt this visit and it's obvious aim by popping down to the local parlour with a picture of my mom and threatening the tattooist with serious bodily harm, telling him that by no account is he to permanently 'ink' anything except an item from the punctuation range, i.e., a fullstop, anywhere on my neice other than the sole of her foot or he will be visited by a trio of crazed American women of varying ages and one bemused gardener????

Or, do I selfishly cling to my status as a cool Auntie and let her have a huge heart with 'Zack' tattooed on her upper arm or worse, the ubiquitous 'tramp stamp' (tattoo across the lower back, soooooooooooooo 90's Glastonbury)????

Decisions, decisions.... How quick can my mom and my sister get over here to kill me? Does mom have any 'contacts' from the 70's when she lived in Sicily???? What's the biggest Band-Aid you can get, and what excuse can I make for her having to wear it until after graduation.... Oh Christ, it's a ruddy Catholic school.... she won't graduate with a tattoo.... Oh, the weight of responsibility is heinous... Still, it's keeping my mind off Friday, when I find out whether or not I still have a job... at least my priorities are properly organised!
Shadow Jewers-Hall Comment by Shadow Jewers-Hall on July 1, 2009 at 10:12am
Why not just make her have it where it can be easily covered and make her telephone all relatives before. She is 18 after all and if she wants it she will get it done with or without your blessing, at least this way you cant be blamed by anyone. Or get her to try a henna one first and hopefully she will have gone home before it wears of and she decides she wants the real thing. Good lucj

Shadow
Donny Bryan Comment by Donny Bryan on July 1, 2009 at 10:43am
I empathise entirely. My 23 year old daughter has a number of tattoos a couple of which are fine but some of which I am sure she will regret when she's older. In her case she got them without mentioning it to me or her mother in advance & once it's done there is absolutely nothing left to say that's constructive. Now I just studiously ignore it each time she gets a new one. There really isn't anything anyone can do once they're over the age of 18 to stop them if this is what they want to do. You could try appealing to her sense of reason & ask her to wait until after she graduates - perhaps you could offer a monetary graduation gift/bribe that would help to pay for it if that's what she chooses? If she's determined then I agree with Shadow that you need to try to get her to take responsibility and announce her intentions in advance. If she won't do that then ask her to get the tattoo when she isn't staying with you so that you won't be blamed. And, of course, try to influence her choice of tattoo to something appropriate and appropriately positioned.
Cat Fereday Comment by Cat Fereday on July 1, 2009 at 2:54pm
Thanks guys, your comments have been duly noted, and I'm thinking I'll discuss with my sister and mom when they are over in September just in case it does happen. As someone who is tattooed, I am quite happy with mine and would like to have some more, though I admit that there was something about the rebellious overtones that attracted me to having one in the first place. I know for sure though, that I'm really glad I'm not a parent of teenage girls - my sister is fabulous, she's just got the best attitude and the girls are a real testament to her.
Graeme @ BGS Comment by Graeme @ BGS on July 1, 2009 at 8:53pm
Not my cup of tea but horses for courses and all that. Just be the cool Auntie and treat her to one!

Fingers crossed that it's good news on Friday regarding your job.
Cat Fereday Comment by Cat Fereday on July 2, 2009 at 6:41pm
And the preoccupation chez Fereday tonite is... just guess... well, it's the job.... 10:30 tomorrow morning we know... fingers really crossed.....and... do I have another glass of fizzy? Can I accept the news with a hangover?????
Philip Voice Comment by Philip Voice on July 2, 2009 at 6:52pm
Good luck Cat - I hope too that it is good news but hold on to the thought that there is always something positive to be taken (eventually) from everything.

Hope Andy is well - We don't see much of him these day. Please tell him that as a founding member of LJN that he has to come in and do the dusting occasionally :)

all the best

Phil
Donny Bryan Comment by Donny Bryan on July 2, 2009 at 7:29pm
Hi Cat, just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow. Mrs B is at the top of her profession but it's an extremely volatile profession where people are laid off whenever the market changes. In her case it's always those with under 2 years services regardless of performance - because they don't have to pay her anything under UK law except her legal notice period (and they don't pay anythin...). This means that despite being regularly the top performer in Europe she's been made redundant 5 times now. However, as she says, each time it opens a new chapter in her life and each time she's ended up happier in her new job than before. Of course as I'm self-employed it's always a worry and this time things are somewhat harder than usual. However, she gets up every morning with a big smile ready to tackle another day. Indeed she is the support system for many talented people currently through no fault of their own without a job. So if the news isn't good & you need some support or just someone to talk it through with, do let me know & I'll put you in contact with Mrs B.
Cat Fereday Comment by Cat Fereday on July 2, 2009 at 9:10pm
Omigawd, I can't believe all the well-wishing - thank you all so much.... I'll get on to post the outcome as soon as I can - may be leaving work early in any case! But thank you all so much, I'm really touched. x Cat
Shadow Jewers-Hall Comment by Shadow Jewers-Hall on July 3, 2009 at 1:00pm
hope it all goes well I am thinking of you.
Shadow
Cat Fereday Comment by Cat Fereday on July 6, 2009 at 10:24pm
Survived!!!!!!!! :-) HUGE THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR ALL THE GOOD WISHES! There was much fizz on Friday night after work, and I've most of this week off - which will help for coming to terms with everything - new boss, new job, etc. We're also off to London for a day, and then Fereday's birthday this Friday - all go, but thankfully some stability has returned!

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