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  Trish Reynolds May 6, 2012 at 3:06pm

  Hi, comments would be as follows:

  I dont think that the sites need to be separated necessarily but I think there is a lot to read on the site, maybe some of it could be summarised more?  Both skype phone contacts at the top right header are both cut off and only half the number is visible to me. I would reduce the text on the "About us" page as most of it - what you do - is already covered  under "Our Services" and "Bespoke Care Packages", and retain the initial paragraphs about your experience for greater impact?  I would add testimonials to another tab maybe, as when reading the text in the middle of this Home page, the top photographs and also the testimonials are continually refreshing top and bottom which I find distracting when trying to read the wording?  Sometimes using several types of transition types between photos can be distracting as well - keeping it simple I find is best, using the same transition each time. Because of the large amount of text on some pages the font sizes change, so when you flick through quickly it stands out.  I would probably add Fencing as another item to the drop down list on 'Our Services' instead of including within 'Larger jobs'.  I guess its a personal choice but I may only provide summaries of work rather than explaining every step taken as for some people it may be too much to bother reading and may turn away, and then this gives you something more to discuss with your client or provide as a written statement when vying for business? - but this is personal observation only. I think there may be a small error in text on last line of text on Overseeding page?

  I like the photographs you have loaded - I think they speak more profoundly than a lot of text and maybe make more use of these as you have on your Lawn and Garden Maintenance and Turfing pages - which looks nice - less but clear text, and photos to prove your experience.

  I hope these comments are of some use, its always difficult critiquing someone elses hard work. Generally a great site though.
• PRO

  Geoffrey King May 6, 2012 at 7:32pm

  Apart from the fact that not all the text is visible, viewed in Firefox

  I would suggest proof reading and reading aloud your sentences,

  for example on your 'Work we can do this month' page

  "April showers bring May flowers and did we have we had some rain the back end of April."

  and below that a 51 word sentence?
  

  "Gardens and lawns are taking shape, colour is appearing in the beds and now the lawns have had some rain, providing they have had a good balanced feed you will be seeing the emergence of lush new sward, bold areas filling in and all in all an healthier all round appearance."

  and below that

  "Whilst the garden centres are full of lust colourful attractive plants do not buy anything that is susceptible to a cold snap or you might just be waving goodbye to your money"

  eh? what are, "lust colourful plants" ?

  I am reading this and thinking what are you trying to tell me, how does this equate to jobs to do this month.

  I would expect you to highlight some key areas and explain how you can help.

  For example, all the recent rain will have made all your plants grow including the weeds, our service can help you make your garden look great again.

  Having viewed dozens and dozens of different garden company websites, I 'd have to say yours' needs a major overhaul.

  On lawn care page, imagine I know nothing, what are you telling me?  What does lawn treatment do, why do I need it, how and when does it get applied, and why?

  "Different treatments we offer for your lawn care" WHAT ARE THEY? you don't actually explain

  or

  "Summer treatment; This treatment is the one we have to assess all conditions prior to deciding which of the many products available is best suited to your lawn."

  don't you do this anyway, for everything, but what is a typical summer treatment, why do you do reccommend it?

  do you mean 'bare areas' 

  "Over seeding,this is done to help reduce any areas were you have bold areas"

  
  and my final words, remember proof read it all aloud

  "Aeration solid tine solid tine aeration is beneficial"

  
  
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  Bespoke Lawncare May 6, 2012 at 8:46pm

  Thanks, I have not viewed the web site in firefox so I am not aware its not showing the text & phone numbers correct

  The reason I ask is because I am not the most literate person by a long stretch.

  I did put the site together via Yola then paid a company to make it suitable for the web.

  All comments will be taken on board & the site altered to read and display better.
• PRO

  Geoffrey King May 6, 2012 at 8:59pm

  You might consider using a copy writer, I think there are some people on the LJN who know about this stuff, check out old posts.

  Here is an example of a copy writer with some useful articles

  http://welcomewords.co.uk/

  I might add that our website also needs sorting out, Doh!